Stories I may not tell my grandchildren but the lessons I will make sure they learn!
Have you every been bullied? Have you ever been ridiculed? Or humiliated? Have you been physically attacked?
You have there is a chance you understand why I feel the way I do.
It was dark. I was walking home with the girl from two doors away. I don't know where we had been. I know she was carrying this a bottle of coke in her hand. It is funny the things you remember.
A girl was standing with her mum just across the road. We shall call this girl A. A called my neighbor over to her. It was an ambush I could tell straight away yet I crossed the road. As I got closer she started asking me why I had had sex with some boy. When I innocently said I hadn't she accused me of calling her mum a liar because apparently her mum had heard me. Her mum had heard me have sex with a boy and this boy had a girlfriend so they were going to punish me.
I said over and over and over I had not had sex, I was still a virgin!
When I finally realised I needed to get out of there I turned I could see my house. I heard A's mum say something.
"Too much talking A"
And with that a fist came down on the back of my head. I fought back and managed to get away and run home.
This is one story of hundreds I could tell you. This one sticks out because an adult was involved, although again it wasn't the only time an adult helped.
I was a troubled child in some respects I questioned the meaning of life early on. I never really fit in. I am sure that shocks you haha. I was old before my time, that actually will surprise anyone who knows the gypsy me.
The worst period was between 12 and 16 years old. Being bullied affected me massively but it also affected my whole family! It was a domino affect.
I was hit, spat at, pushed, my clothes ripped, my hair pulled, used, kicked and more.
But I learnt so much and I hope what I have learnt can help you and you can share.
1. It is NOT your fault.
No one bullies you because of you, you make them feel inadequate and their insecurities come out. You don't have to be outstanding to make an insecure person feel worse about themselves, they are doing that internally and it comes out in nastiness.
2. You are beautiful. You are clever. You are loved. (Slightly adapted from "The Help")
It is true. There is beauty and smarts in everyone. It is different in everybody so don't underestimate yourself. Someone loves you and even if it is just a stranger in the street someone with show you love.
3. Be yourself.
Man that is one of the hardest things in the world when you are so amazing your honesty scares people. For years I have moved in waves of self-confidence. The more confident the more I am judge and teased. But it is there insecurites again not you. Where the clothes you want, the make up, the make up. Do that job!
4. Talk!
If someone is abusing you in any shape or form speak up. If you tell them the way they are treating bothers you and they perist talk to someone else and leave.
5. Have empathy.
Don't just be sympathetic to someones plight but empathise with them. Show them you care.
6. Be KIND!
Show kindness to every living thing you meet. You don't know their struggles. Embrace them with your kindness.
7. Teach your children all of the above.
Just over 15 years ago I tried to take my own life, the one friend I had said she didn't want to be my friend. I walked out of school. I wasn't able to sit my exams or attend my prom. If I could talk to my 15 year old I would say the above and so much more.
Those people make the world feel so small that they will stay on top of you forever but the world is big and beautiful. There are amazing people. Amazing adventures to be had.
Those people may go somewhere in life and congratulations if they do.
The next person that calls you an idiot or bitch or slut respond with kindness and they will be lost for words. They will no longer feel above you, so no longer able to dominate you.
Be strong. Be brave. And again be kind ✌💖
I would just like to thank my family for getting me through without their love I would not have survived. Thank you x
